I had my feelings hurt this week…don’t be worried about me though…I’m a big girl. I can take it.
What I can’t seem to get over though is where the issue lies. Is it with me? Is it with the other person? Is it insecurities of my past or in who I am? Is it insecurities on the other side? I’ve often felt as though it’s my duty to give an account or an excuse for my actions and decisions. I ALWAYS try to base my decisions upon what God wants for me and for my family. I know that the decision I made was right, justified and exactly the decision that needed to be made. I can be strong in that decision BECAUSE I know that I sought God’s direction in it.
Does that mean it will be easy to live that decision out? No. Does that mean it will always be clean and neat and handsomely packaged? No. Does that mean everyone else will understand the decision I made? Unfortunately no.
Do I forge ahead and try to maintain what is left of a friendship hanging by the threads or is this where I’m supposed to shake the dust and move on? Is it supposed to be this much work? I know relationships are hard, but do I keep setting myself up for continual punishment? I don’t want to walk away, but is that what I’m SUPPOSED to do?
What happens when both people are doing their best to walk in the Truth and yet still can’t see eye to eye? Do you agree to disagree? I was ready to do so…but is that the right thing to do?
Cutting ties is hard when you love someone. I guess all I can say is that I love you and I hope one day you can learn to forgive me for the decision I made, but I will not apologize for that decision.